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Physician, Heal Thy Selfie
Season 2, Episode 12
Air date February 9, 2016
Written by Talia Gonzalez & Bisanne Masoud
Directed by Zetna Fuentes
Episode Guide
Fifty Shades of Grey Matter
The Whopper

Physician, Heal Thy Selfie is the twelfth episode of Season 2 and the twenty-fifth episode of the series overall. It aired February 9, 2016 and had 1.43 millions viewers.


Detective Babineaux and Liv are investigating a triple homicide, and Liv is shocked to learn that the victims' bodies are missing their heads. A very hungry Liv is forced to consume the brain of an unfortunate social media hungry soul who was recently run over by a bus. Meanwhile, Peyton leans on Ravi for support, and things get interesting when Blaine's worlds start to collide. Robert Buckley also stars.[1]


This episode starts where the last left off. Liv tells Drake that she was just helping a friend and comes over to the bed where he's resting. She gets into bed and notices Drake's scar on his head, and he says that it's a story for another day. Drake hugs Liv as she lies down.

Peyton returns to Ravi's place and says that it'll be a few more days until her new place is ready. He notices that she's upset and asks what the matter is, and Peyton says that she screwed up at work. She pours drinks and talks about her time in college, and avoids talking about what happened at her job. Ravi assures her that she's clever and disciplined, and starts to leave. Peyton invites him to stay and keep drinking, and he reluctantly does so.

The next day, a hungover Ravi accompanies Liv to their newest crime scene. She says that she hasn't eaten anything recently as she was afraid that any more horny-librarian brain would lead to poor life choices. Ravi asks her if it already did, just as Clive comes over and says that they have a nasty triple homicide on their hands. Liv seems pleased at the prospect of not one but three brains, and licks her lips. Clive ignores the press and tells Liv that they have three unidentified corpses that washed up on shore... decapitated.

Back at the morgue, Liv tells Clive that the victims were decapitated post-mortem. The driver's licenses are fake, and Clive is hoping that Liv can get a "vision". Once he leaves, Ravi gets a ravenous Liv the brain of Madison Brenneck, a woman who was hit by a bus while she was crossing the street and on her cell phone. Liv eats her brain and Ravi soon finds her posting pictures of her brain sushi on Instagram. He tells Liv that Madison was a social media maven. On the day she died, she tweeted 27 times. Liv is distracted, posting on social media, and Ravi warns her not to overshare.

Peyton is in her office and Blaine comes to see her. He assures her that he had nothing to do with the Chaos Killer victims, and he hasn't spoken with his father for years. Peyton makes herself a heavily-spiced drink and says that it's a friend who is coming by to celebrate her decision to tell DA Baracus that she slept with Blaine. Blaine tells her not to throw her career away because of him, and insists that she's doing some important work. He assures Peyton that what happened the other night meant something to him, just as his zombie sense goes off. Liv comes in and shares a drink with Peyton, and Blaine realizes that Peyton knows all about him. Peyton says that Blaine is a giant mistake to her, and he walks out.

Peyton's secretary comes in and says that she's been unable to reach Baracus, and Peyton says that she'll stop by his house later. Liv takes a celebratory selfie and tweets it with the hashtags #friendshipgoals and #bootyhadmelikewhat, and Peyton points out that it's a little weird. When Liv sees the photos on Peyton's crime board, she recognizes the three dead men from their IDs and tells Peyton that they're dead. Now, Liv has their names.

Later, Peyton stops at Baracus' house but he doesn't answer the door. She looks in and sees Chaos Killer graffiti on the wall, and discovers that the door is unlocked. Going in, Peyton discovers that someone has torn the place apart and Baracus' corpse is pinned to the wall.

The next day, Drake is on the phone to his mother and parked outside of Boss' CPA office. Clive and Liv pull up, and Drake ducks down as they go inside. Boss offers them vatrushka, but Liv turns him down and Clive asks if he recognizes the three dead men. Boss says that he doesn't. The detective has another photo of Boss with the three men at a funeral, and Boss' nephew is there with a machete tucked into his belt. Boss feigns ignorance and asks if they've done anything wrong and Clive says they're dead. Boss' demeanour visibly changes and says that they're done, as he needs to call his sister. Outside, Liv and Clive decide that Boss probably didn't arrange the murders. Clive ponders their next move, whilst Liv checks Facebook and discovers that Drake isn't on there.

At the station, Clive calls in a confidential informant named Tanner and asks if he's heard if someone is moving in on Boss. Tanner claims that he doesn't know, and Liv threatens to post that he's a CI on twitter if he doesn't co-operate. Tanner says that there's a new player with Lucky U, a cheap and uncut version of Utopium. As Tanner talks, Drake texts Liv and asks to meet her again. Meanwhile, the CI says that he doesn't know anything else about the new player.

At the morgue, Ravi checks the Internet and finds a video that Liv posted her unboxing morgue supplies. He's surprised that 153 people watched the video. Liv is on the Seattle PD database looking for background info on Drake. She discovers that he was sentenced to 22 months for felony aggravated assault. Drake calls. Ravi suggests that she ghosts him, and she declines the call, but admits that she likes him.

Clive finds Dale at her desk in the squad room and suggests that she get some sleep. She shows him the words written on the wall at the McDonough crime scene. The Chaos Killer graffiti there is different from the graffiti at the Baracus house, and Dale figures that it's not the same perp. Reporter Jeremy Chu comes in and asks for information on the triple-beheading, and Clive has no comment.

That night at Vaughn's office, Vaughn meets with Rita/Gilda and his security consultant, Janko. The CEO summons Major in and introduces him to Janko. As they talk, Vaughn reads the Twitter troll posts about Max Rager, and says that nobody should slip through the cracks. He asks why he took out Baracus as the Chaos Killer when Major told him that the DA isn't a zombie. Major says that he wasn't responsible and Baracus wasn't a zombie, but Gilda and Janko have confirmed that he bought hot sauce and weekly spray tans. Vaughn demands answers, and promises that he's going to escalate against the Rager trolls. He asks Vaughn who they should go after, and Major picks a name at random.

Liv stays on the computer after her shift is over writing a Yelp review about their local restaurant. Drake comes in and Ravi quickly excuses himself. The zombie wonders why Liv hasn't got back to him, and she brings up his two years in prison. Drake says that his dad split and his mother had a string of bad boyfriends. One of them beat Drake's mother and Drake snapped and went after him. The man pulled a knife and cut Drake on the forehead, and Drake crippled the man. Liv thanks him for telling her, and agrees to go to dinner with him. As they talk, Drake gets a call from his mother and says that he has to deal with her leaky sink. Liv figures that he's lying, and he says she's welcome to come, but his mother is a lot to handle.

At Drake's house, Drake's mother wonders why Liv is so pale, asking a lot of personal questions. Drake apologizes, saying his mother tends to say the first thing that pops into her head. She offers to give Liv a makeover, and Liv agrees. His mother goes off to get her makeup kit, and Drake wryly says that if he were Liv, he'd make a run for it.

At the funeral home, Blaine is supervising a funeral when he discovers that Boss is there for his nephew's funeral. He loses his train of speech and Boss blithely corrects him. Blaine looks unnerved as Boss walks away.

Drake's mother takes a photo of Drake and Liv together, with Liv sporting an unsubtle makeover and Drake wearing a new, uneven sweater that his mother has made. Once she's done, they head out for dinner.

Blaire puts the music on in his basement, and Boss comes downstairs. He recognizes Blaine as an underling in his organization, and congratulates him on doing well in the funeral business. Boss points out that Blaine should have given him notice before leaving, and Blaine says that he saw things at the boat party and took it as a sign. The crime boss is skeptical but says that he's inclined to let it slide. However, he wants back the $4,000 of product that Blaine took with him. Boss wants it plus the interest, for a total of $80,000. He wants Blaine to pay him back $5,000 every two weeks, and goes back to the funeral after congratulating Blaine on doing well. Once he leaves, Blaine briefly loses control of his temper and then recovers.

The next morning at the morgue, Ravi has another hangover from drinking late with Peyton. Clive comes in and says that the owner of a local marina called to report a strange boat. When he checked it, he discovered the inside of the boat was covered with blood. Clive and Liv go there and the owner shows them the boat. He didn't see who docked the boat, as he wasn't working; his son, Charlie, was. Charlie is as glued to his phone as Liv is, and says he didn't get a good look at the guy, but saw him get in a taxi. He googles Seattle taxis to identify which company it was. Clive recognizes it from the description, and they call dispatch to find out where the taxi went. They discover that the cabin the taxi went to belongs to Baracus. The cabin is empty but the fireplace is still warm. Clive figures that it was Boss' goons pretending to be the Chaos Killer, and Boss sent them to kill Baracus for indicting his underlings. Liv notices a rack of spices and hot sauce, coming to a sudden mental realisation and Clive figures that she's having a vision. She looks in the refrigerator and finds the three severed heads.

Clive calls in the CSI squad, and the officer in charge confirms that the motorcycle normally parked outside is gone. Liv looks around, figuring that Baracus wouldn't have abandoned his food supply. She finds a vent below a rug and confirms that Baracus is hiding in the crawlspace.

Liv goes back to the morgue and tells Ravi and Major what's going on; that the three men abducted Baracus, whereupon he zombied-out and killed them. She plans to take Baracus some brains and figure a way out of his mess. Major offers to go with her, warning that it's dangerous, and Liv points out that it's not safe for a non-zombie.

That night, Liv returns to the cabin and introduces herself to Baracus. He explains that he snapped the necks of the killers and used the nephew's machete to cut off their heads as a food supply. Baracus figures that either Boss or the police will find him, and he'll never get to see his son again. Liv sadly says they'll sort something out Nearby, Major parks outside and watches the cabin.

Peyton and Ravi are drinking again and watching Zombie High, and she insists that she's still quitting. She admits that if she became a zombie then she'd scratch Ravi so he'd be with her.

The next morning, Ravi is drinking a raw egg with orange juice to cure his hangover and talking to Liv on the phone. She's worried that Boss will come after Peyton, and Ravi says that she already resigned. As she talks on the phone, Liv bumps into her roommate Gilda. She leaves her rent check on the table and goes.

Peyton is at her office packing and finds Mayor Davis there. Davis refuses to accept her resignation and shows her a headline about Boss ordering a hit on Baracus. The mayor figures that they need to take down Boss, and thinks that Peyton won't back off out of a sense of duty.

Blaine is out singing in his parked car and meets with Jeremy. When the reporter gets in, Blaine pays him off in brains for setting up Davis to go after Boss. Jeremy admits that he made up the story but Blaine assures him that every word was true.

Major meets with Vaughn, Gilda, and Janko. Vaughn points out that Baracus was supposed to end up dead but somehow took out three experienced killers. They figure that Baracus is a zombie, and Vaughn wants to know how many zombies slipped through the cracks. Major says that the night he checked Baracus, his five-year-old son hugged him. He claims that he couldn't take him from his kid, but insists that it's the only time he skipped a zombie. Vaughn checks on the troll that Major picked earlier, and shows Major a Youtube video of the troll dead on a street in Bangkok. The CEO says that Max Rager is a global concern and is everywhere. He explains that he's going to kill one troller a day until Major proves that he's killed Baracus. Vaughn also tells Major that they know Liv knows where Baracus is.

Baracus is at his cabin eating brains when he hears someone outside. He looks outside but doesn't see anything, and a masked Major drugs him unconscious. He then takes Baracus to his storage unit, wakes him up, and has him sign a note. Once Baracus does, Major knocks him out again, puts a current newspaper on the seemingly dead zombie, and takes a photo. He then sends it to Vaughn and puts Baracus' body in the freezer with the others.

The EMTs bring in a drug dealer to the morgue. His throat is cut, he was in Boss' territory, and he has a pocket full of Lucky U. Liv and Ravi wonder who thought moving in on Boss was a good idea. Clive comes in and tells them that Baracus killed himself by jumping off the bridge. He left a note behind for his son. Clive tells them that the case is officially closed.

Ravi returns home and finds Peyton packed to leave. She explains that she isn't quitting her job, and Ravi says that he just dealt with one of Boss' victims. He wants Peyton to let someone else risk their life, but Peyton refuses. Ravi asks her to stay there where he and Major can protect her. Peyton hugs him and says that he's the best, but turns down his offer.

Liv and Drake are making omelettes at her place when there's a knock at the door. Liv answers it and finds Don E there to pick up Drake. She gets a flash of Madison buying Lucky U from Don E a club. Drake tells Don E that he cannot show up there, but Don E replies that he shouldn't ignore his texts. Once Drake leaves with Don E, Liv realizes that Blaine is the new player.





  • Miriam Flynn as Drake's Mother
  • Colin Lawrence as Janko
  • Patrick Gallagher as Jeremy Chu
  • Jessica Heafy as Mayor Gwen Davis
  • Matteo Stefan as Charlie
  • Vanessa Richards as Jane
  • Gaalen Engen as Marina Owner
  • Nathan Barrett as Tanner
  • Carmela Sison as Uniformed Officer
  • J. Alex Brinson as EMT

Zombie Traits/Skills[]


  • Madison Brennick - Addicted to social media

Brain Food[]

  • "Brain rolls" — Liv makes brain sushi.
  • "Frittata cerebro" — Liv and Drake are making what looks to be a brain frittata for breakfast.

Comic Panel Titles[]

Title Meaning[]

  • Physician, Heal Thy Selfie - The title paraphrases the proverb, physician, heal thyself, while also hinting at the fact that Liv has to eat a social media hungry woman, which causes her to go overboard with the tweeting, instagramming etc. The word "Selfie" refers to a picture of someone, taken by themself, usually with a smartphone.


  • Lavender Moon - Haroula Rose
  • Whisper - Love Rats
  • In the Dark - Billy Squier
  • Husbands and Wives - Roger Miller
  • Watching the Detectives - Elvis Costello
  • The Knower - Youth Lagoon
  • Looking' At You - Speakerhedz


  • Liv (Rose McIver) tells a hungover Ravi (Rahul Kohli), "Never start a land war in Asia. Don't go toe to toe with Peyton Charles when drinking is involved." This paraphrases a scene in the 1987 film, The Princess Bride, where Vizzini mentions two classic blunders, getting involved in a land war in Asia and going up against a Sicilian when death is on the line.