|Real Dead Housewife of Seattle|
|Season 2, Episode 03|
|Air date||October 20, 2015|
|Written by||Kit Boss|
|Directed by||Jason Bloom|
Even Cowgirls Get the Black and Blues
Real Dead Housewife of Seattle is the third episode of Season 2 and the sixteenth episode of the series overall. It aired on October 20, 2015. The total live U.S. viewers for the episode was 1.29 million.
Liv eats the brains of a recently murdered trophy wife who was pushed to her death from the balcony of her stunning architectural home in the hills by a hired hit man. A Pinot Grigio-sipping, suddenly fashion-obsessed Liv and Detective Babineaux begin questioning suspects in their search for the original brains behind this murder. Meanwhile, Liv and Ravi are surprised to learn that Peyton has returned to Seattle. Robert Buckley and David Anders also star.
Rich housewife Taylor Fowler is on the phone when a man, Alex Towne, arrives at her door. He introduces himself as a realtor and says that he has a client looking for a home just like Taylor's. When he mentions that his client will pay $10 million in cash, Taylor lets him in. He asks to see the view, and Taylor takes him out to the patio. Alex suddenly grabs her and in the struggle she manages to kick off a plantpot, throwing both of them through the glass barrier of the patio where they fall to the ground far below.
Later at the morgue, Ravi, Clive, and Liv examine Taylor's corpse. Clive explains that Taylor was Terrence Fowler's second wife, and Terrence runs a warehouse liquor chain. Taylor died on impact, but "Alex" is actually Joe Fricano, a small-time thief. He survived the impact but is in a coma. Joe had a printout of Taylor's Facebook page and Clive figures it for a murder-for-hire and Terrence did the hiring. However, Terrence has a fancy lawyer and he won't be coming in until later. Liv suggests they go out on Friday in a few days, but both men have things going on. Once Clive leaves, Liv eats Taylor's brain.
Major is exercising at Max Rager. Gilda checks in with him and he assures her that he's working through the list of zombies. She warns that Vaughn wanted to give everyone on the list, zombie and non-zombie, an all-expense-paid trip and then scuttle the ship. Gilda assures Major that his work saves lives, but warns that he has to speed things up or Vaughn will get impatient and go back to the scuttling plan.
Clive calls in Alex Towne, the real owner of Montlake Realty that Joe claimed to work for. Liv stares at Alex and then asks if her bag is a Stella. Clive interrupts to show Alex a photo of Joe, and she recognizes him from one of her open houses. He was poking around in a nightstand in the master bedroom and asked him to leave. The owner of the house is Vaughn Du Clark, Seattle's most eligible bachelor.
Major approaches the next suspect on the zombie list in an elevator, Colin Andrews, and senses that he's a zombie. Later, Colin is out jogging in the park with his dog, Minor. Major comes up behind Colin and sedates him. Major then loads Colin up in the trunk of his car and drives off. When Colin wakes up and starts yelling for mercy, Major turns the radio up to drown out the cries. He stops at a bridge, shoots Colin in the head, and dumps him over the side.
The next day, Liv arrives at the morgue wearing a new dress. Clive figures that Taylor was killed because of either money or sex, and doesn't believe that Vaughn has a motive. Liv figures that he's guilty, but Clive still figures Terrence as the killer. He plans to interview Vaughn, hoping he can give them something that will incriminate Terrence.
At Max Rager, Vaughn tells Liv and Clive he didn't know that Taylor and Terrence were having issues. He has no explanation for why Joe was going through the drawers at his house. As Vaughn talks to his assistant, Liv gets a flash of Taylor in bed with him, having tantric sex. She tells Vaughn and Clive what she's learned, and Vaughn claims that they're not lovers and prefers younger women, preferably blonde, with a smirk to Liv. Liv loses her temper and says she's not his whore, and Vaughn declares the interview over. As Liv and Clive leave, Major comes in and Vaughn pretends to realize that they know each other.
Liv complains that Major has been ignoring her, and interrupts when Clive asks Major about the Meat Cute incident. She wonders how Major can be working for Vaughn, while Gilda secretly listens from around the corner. When Major says that Liv is being ridiculous, she slaps him and then apologizes, whispering that it's the brain. Vaughn leads Major off for his training session and Clive discusses Liv's vision of Taylor's affair as Gilda listens. Terrence's lawyer calls to postpone the interview and insist that it takes place at Terrence's house. Clive has confirmed that Joe installed car stereos as a regular job and figures that they can check out his business for clues.
At the shop, Joe's co-workers don't recognize Terrence or Vaughn. They confirm that Joe was doing a mystery install at a rich man's house, but only their manager knows where and he's on a fishing trip. As they leave, Clive gets a text that Terrence wants to do the interview. Still on Taylor's brains, Liv wants Clive to bring the car around for her but he refuses.
At Terrence's house, Terrence says that he and Taylor were happy, on the advice of his lawyer. They were going to take a tenth anniversary vacation and Terrence tells his assistant Meg to get the travel details. She confirms that Terrence was with his personal stylist during the time of the murder, and Clive asks about Taylor's affair with Vaughn. Terrence, suddenly furious, smashes a glass-topped table, and his lawyer says that they're done. Clive and Liv note that he didn't seem to know about the affair and muse over whether it was genuine.
Vaughn returns to his office and finds Gilda in his chair. She chastises him for screwing Taylor, and reminds him that Terrence is a swing vote on the board. Gilda explains that Liv somehow knew about the affair, and Vaughn blithely brushes off criticisms of his affairs, reminding her that she was the offspring of one of them.
Major is exercising and taking Utopium in the Mag Rager exercise room. Gilda comes in to exercise and flirts with Major. He deliberately ignores her and starts to leave, and Gilda tells him that he doesn't have to go. Major grabs her and they kiss, and then strip.
Clive and Liv talk to Terrence's stylist, Bethany Miller, at her home. While Clive asks her if Terrence was distracted, Liv admires Bethany's view. They exchange Pilates tips and Bethany admires Liv's shoes, saying that she knows of a pair Liv will love and she'll find them for her. Clive tries to focus on business and Bethany confirms that she talked to Taylor about dresses. She advises them to talk to Camille Underschite and Debra Canfield, Taylor's closest friends. They call Camille in to the station and she complains that Debra drinks. When they talk to Debra separately, she claims that Camille is a compulsive liar and stole Taylor's business idea. They go back and forth on their accusations, and Camille says that she was there for Taylor when she found out Terrence was using a website to find gold-diggers. When Debra mentions that Terrence found out Taylor was having an affair, Liv has a vision of the incident and Taylor telling Terrence to video-chat with his gold-diggers. Terrence is furious that Taylor chose Vaughn, insisting that it could have been anyone else. Liv privately tells Clive that Terrence knew about the affair before they told him, and they realize he was putting on an act for them.
Liv returns to the morgue and tells Ravi that she saw Major at Max Rager. He tries to watch a newscast by DA Floyd Baracus, but Liv interrupts to complain that everyone is abandoning her. Baracus says that they're cracking down on the Utopium trade, and brings out Peyton, saying she'll be helping him with the task force. Ravi and Liv are both shocked that Peyton is back in the country. Liv asks how Ravi can be so la-di-da about the fact that she ditched him too, but Ravi says they were only dating for a couple of weeks and that he's ready to move on. He figures that Peyton will want to be back in Liv's life, and hopes Liv gives her the chance. Bethany calls Liv to say she's found the perfect shoes for her.
Bethany comes over to Liv's place and goes through her closet, while Liv tries on the new shoes. The stylist picks out one of Peyton's old dresses, complimenting it. Bethany says that she's going to an invitation-only sale at a boutique and invites Liv along, and Liv accepts.
Later, Liv goes to the station wearing her new shoes. Clive has photos of all the women that Terrence checked out at the website, and is checking their phone numbers. Joe's manager has returned, but Liv claims that she has an important meeting and can't go. Once Clive leaves, Liv goes to the boutique and Bethany already has a dress picked out for her. The clerk checks her credit card and notes that it's her birthday, and Bethany insists on celebrating at the new seafood & smoothie place, Fin & Juice.
Clive returns to the shop and the manager says that Terrence wasn't Joe's client. He says that Joe was obsessed with a new girl, a skank, and she picked Joe up. Clive takes him to go through the "book of skanks" he has compiled.
Liv tries on her new dress and, satisfied, tells Bethany to pick something out for herself. As Liv considers her new friend, Clive calls and Liv puts him on speaker in the dressing-room. He says that Bethany is the killer and Liv hurriedly turns the speakerphone off. The manager identified her from the gold-digger website as Joe's skank, and Clive has confirmed Bethany hooked up with Terrence. Liv changes her clothes, watches Bethany change in the next booth, and quietly tells Clive that she's with the killer. Clive tells her to keep Bethany there while he sends backup. However, when Bethany comes out, she punches Liv and runs. Liv tackles her and goes zombie-berserk, punching Bethany unconscious. As Liv gets herself under control, the clerk says that he's calling the police and Liv says that she is the police.
At the station, Clive spells out how Terrence set Bethany up at her apartment. He figures that Bethany got tired of waiting for Terrence to divorce Taylor, so she convinced Joe to check Vaughn's place for evidence of the affair. Then Bethany sent Joe to murder Taylor. As for proof, they have her record for fraud, larceny, and blackmail of rich older men in other states. When Clive says that he's going to establish how deeply Terrence was involved, Bethany has no idea what he's talking about. Clive tells her to enjoy prison and Liv sarcastically quips, "What doesn't orange go with?".
Ravi returns home and the dog Major took from his last victim, Minor, bounds over, to Ravi's confusion. Peyton is there with Major, and Peyton suggests that Major go to bed. Once he leaves, Peyton says that she saw something that led her to run. Ravi says that he knows what she saw and confirms that Major knows about zombies as well. Peyton asks to give Ravi a hug and he agrees, and they talk about his date.
Liv buys alcohol and the clerk realizes that it's her birthday from her ID. She goes home and figures that she'll be alone the rest of her life. Liv discovers a birthday cake in the refrigerator, and Gilda comes in saying she didn't know it was Liv's birthday and wonders what other secrets Liv is keeping. She says that some woman dropped it off, waited for a bit, and then had to leave. When Gilda describes Peyton's beauty mark, Liv realizes who it was.
Vaughn is practicing Tai Chi in his office when Terrence comes in and says that he has the votes for a hostile takeover. He figures that he'll be humiliated when news of the affair goes public, so he's going to humiliate Vaughn. Vaughn suggests that they set aside their differences and make themselves rich, but Terrence points out that Max Rager is close to a liquid. When Vaughn says that what they're developing in the basement lab will put everything back on track, Terrence agrees to take a look.
The two men take the elevator down to a secure sub-level. They enter a cell-like lab and Vaughn tells Terrence to stay put while he finds Dr. Holland. However, he admits that Howard has had problems since his lab accident. Vaughn goes out, seals the door, and opens an adjoining cell door. A zombified Dr. Holland comes out and tears Terrence apart as Vaughn watches.
- Taylor Fowler - Fashion "expert", rich people's/housewife behavior
- "Tomato brains" — Liv has brains in a tuna-stuffed tomato.
Comic Panel Titles
- WINE GOETH BEFORE A FALL
- IMPLANTS VS. ZOMBIES
- A ZOM-BOY AND HIS DOG
- MAJOR RAGER
- FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES
- PEYTON PLACE
- STALL TACTICS
- Real Dead Housewife of Seattle - A spin on the Real Housewives of... TV show franchise.
- While talking with Bethany, Liv says "we used to be friends" – a reference to the titlesong of Veronica Mars, which is another Rob Thomas show.
- The story takes place on Liv's birthday, and premiered on Rose's actual birthday, October 20.
I'm In Love With My Life (Mystery Skulls Remix) - Phases
Noir - Sstaria
Voices Carry - 'Til Tuesday
All Day All Night - Truthsayer
Castle - Halsey
When You Coming to See Me? - Mawr
Liang Xiao #1 - Don Chow
Emergency - Icona Pop
Come On and On - The Original Eyes
Lazy Jane - Jenny O
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